


a collection of random shit i write in my free time

by totaldwama



Category: Fallout 4, Homestuck, Original Work, Slime Rancher (Video Game), Total Drama (Cartoon), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: "ah fuck courtney monologues", Alcohol, Crack, Emetophobia, F/F, F/M, Furthest Ring (Homestuck), Gore, Grimdark, Gross, Gunplay, Implied Past Relationships, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, Lesbians, Lovecraftian Monster(s), Mild Gore, Oh who am I kidding, POV Second Person, Radiation Sickness, Slimes, Somewhat Depressing Implications, Unconsciousness, Vomiting, What do I tag here, fortnite, is mettaton self destructing worthy of the major character death warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2020-11-09 00:08:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20844308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totaldwama/pseuds/totaldwama
Summary: this is why my english teacher hates me





	1. undertale (crack) | sans says fuck

**Author's Note:**

> ive had this fucking fic stuck in my head for a fucking week i want to taxidermize toby fox

"wow big gamer moment" mettaton said playing fortnite. 

alphys shanked him with a gun. "no..." she said gravely. "that was NOT a big gamer moment. not even an epic gamer moment. fortnite is outlawed in the underground. you see, it was the favorite video game of the humans. it was part of their culture on a deep level. we cannot allow ourselves to become like the humans by playing fortnite."

"oh... oh my god alphys. that was such a cool dark monologue" undyne said in lesbian. 

"r-really?????" alphys asked also in lesbian. 

undyne and alphys consequently eloped. mettaton then self-destructed because he wasnt a lesbian

sans said fuck


	2. total drama | don't read this i ruined duncney forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> serious writing now -
> 
> it gets nasty.
> 
> i wrote this a while ago, so... don't mind any glaring errors. i'll get around to fixing those eventually.

the smile on her face was terrifyingly beautiful, like the bared teeth of a big cat about to pounce -- threatening, yet gorgeous, and... somehow otherworldly, in a way. her gaze was somehow both unfocused and not. one moment, she seemed to entirely lose her train of thought; the next, she was giving him that same predatory grin, an uncharacteristically starved look in her eyes.

"oh, you don't know how badly i've wanted you," she whispered against his ear. "ever since i first saw you, you haven't left my mind... not once..." it was disgusting, the fondness with which she held him; so conscious, even with her alcohol-tainted breath. "now... now, you're finally mine."

from thereon out, all that remained in his memory was fragmented details, scattered and multifaceted like a broken stained glass window. 

artificial, blinding white light, turning smoothly to darkness with a flip of a switch. the smell of fear, the smell of sex, the smell of blood; the smell of her perfume, still present despite the rain. cold, bitter steel against his tongue; a single gunshot, clear as day in the dead of night. rough stone walls, drawing blood as skin dragged against them.

of course she patched him up after. she wouldn't let any of her toys break. not that easily.

\---

he remembered she first time she did anything other than tighten his bindings. 

she tied his arms behind his back, carefully studying his responses to her actions. soon enough, she was reaching for a blindfold, giving him an unfamiliar, tight-lipped frown when he cringed. with a slight shake of her head, she tossed the blindfold over her shoulder, opting to pull out her handgun.

"shh, it's not loaded," she soothed, seeing the panic in his eyes. "it won't be for a while. we're just practicing today... now..." her fingers brushed against his lips. "open up for me. ... please?"

there it was; the too-familiar taste of metal as the gun slid into his mouth. any emotions he harbored were overwritten by his body's instinctive urge to gag on the foreign object.

"you'll get used to it, someday... then the gun'll be loaded. better try not to choke then."

\---

(only little bits and pieces of conversations remained.)

you make my heart race.

[ scream a little louder, i love your voice. ]

i'm not holding back, you shouldn't either.

i won't hurt you. not if i don't want to.

[ i'll kiss the pain right back. ]

if it hurts, it works.

(if it hurt, it worked.)


	3. total drama (homestuck au) | yes this exists

"I have not... conquered, or _domesticated_ the Furthest Ring. Rather, I have come to be one with its denizens. You see, even though it appears I rule over this realm, and it changes as I will it, all I do is cooperate with my companions. If, by chance, I may fulfill their wishes, they in turn may fulfill mine, and thus, society forms, fueled by our commerce, our trade of desires and dreams... Which is to say, it is only thanks to the bonds I have formed that I manage the feats you have witnessed." Courtney then sat herself beside him, tone growing strangely somber. "Of course, many of these beings do not experiences 'bonds' in the way we do. For many, there is no friendship, nor is there a link of soul or mind; there is only existence, and nonexistence. Our connection is both what is and what is not; is everything and nothing, yet still feels rightfully singular. It may not make sense now, but, in time..." Even with her lack of clearly defined pupils, Duncan found himself able to precisely meet her eyes, losing himself in the blank, alabaster universe confined within her gaze. Her expression softened, and in a display of then-alien humanity, she cupped his cheek, letting the facade of occultic perfection fall in favor of retaining some form of closeness, one truer than proximity. "...in time, I believe you will be as attuned with this world as I."

  
As she drew back, the release left him feeling both hot and cold. His face burned with a deep flush only she could see, extending to his ears and neck. Her hand had not felt like it even possessed a temperature, yet the spot where it had lied felt chilled, as though her touch had been the origin of all the warmth in his body. The sensations, despite their intensity, were not in any sense overstimulating. No, they were, as was with the entirety of the Ring, both all-encompassing and infinitesimal, center stage and subliminal.

  
Simple. So, so simple.


	4. slime rancher | some beachi nonsense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is part of a older fic i started writing back in july. maybe i'll post the entire fic on its own later on... or maybe i won't. who knows.

Mochi expected her to just move on after vaccuming up the plorts, but to her surprise, Beatrix kneeled down at the edge of the pool and reached in to pat the nearest puddle slime on the head.

"I'm sure you know this by now," Beatrix started, smiling a bit as the slime nuzzled into her hand, coating it in watery, blue-tinted goo. "But puddle slimes are, by far, the shyest slimes out there. In bigger groups, they freak out, and can't make any plorts. I was convinced I wouldn't be able to even house these two together, but..." The slime she'd been petting drifted away and bumped agaist the other, sending them both spiraling across the surface of the water. "They seem to really like each other. ... And the duck," she added, as a response to the sudden chorus of squeaking produced by the playing puddle slimes.

Mochi covers her mouth, before asking a cautious question. "Do they... ah, do they have names?"

Beatrix laughed, and Mochi briefly worried she'd asked something incredibly stupid, before - "Of _course_ they do." Picking up one of the puddle slimes (and eliciting a small squeak from it), she revealed a previously-hidden bowtie. "This is Juno, and -" she pointed to the other slime "- that one is Marvin. They're named after..." The smile fades from her face. "... after people I knew back home." She stared off into space wistfully for a moment before shaking her head, returning the slime to the pond and standing back up with a sigh... and without any of her characteristic enthusiasm. "... Sorry. Let's get going." With that, _Bea_ took off.

Mochi stared after Bea for a moment. Evidently... there was a lot more to the cheery rancher than she'd always believed.


	5. "the freedom of confinement i beheld then possessed me."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> . . .

Lurid. Lustful. Lucid. Longing. The echoing of my waking heartbeat through the foggy, dark night. Through the matted clumps of fur and flesh, through the endless waves of blood and viscera, through the piles upon piles of dark, twisted bones. The freedom of confinement I beheld then possessed me.

With a harsh, finalistic series of snaps and tears, I felt the rotting bonds break. My stiff joints creaked and ached as they finally, finally were used after what surely was ages of atrophy. I opened my mouth for the first time in years, hearing blood rush through my head as my jaw was stretched to its very limits, giving me a full breath of stale, putrid air. Rolling my shoulders and twisting my neck, I got to my feet. My legs shook and cracked, as I stood. Dead skin tore and fell to the ground, letting streams of fresh blood from my wounds coat the grass. The freedom of confinement I beheld then possessed me.

The heart beats more heart-sounds, the heart craves the heart's-found. What a life I had lived, chasing ecstasy, finding only ruins in desolate, far-off lands. Sending such soulful screams into the sky is a dream none shall achieve. The freedom of confinement I beheld then possessed me.

The freedom of confinement I beheld then possessed me.


	6. total drama (fallout au) | [ keep crying. ]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (chanting) gwen's got a problem gwen's got a problem gwen's got a problem gw

you're choking on what shouldn't be there. is it air? no, quantum. nuka-cola quantum. you're fucking covered in it. it tastes great while you're drinking it, but it's not quite as good when it's mixed with stomach acids and whatever mildly-radioactive shit you forced down for dinner last night. you're stuck kneeling and clinging to the toilet bowl again, throwing up more of that.

_that disgusting... blue... glowing... stuff. _

you don't want to admit you've been poisoning yourself. it's just vomit. you've got a bug or something. it'll pass eventually. you've been through worse. everyone has, right? that shit is bad enough without having rat poison or whatever tossed into it (not that there is).

"i used to know somebody that talked just like you. now she's out somewhere down south making it big with that girlfriend of hers. makes ya think, doesn't it? maybe if i hadn't been such a -"

_more retching. splattering. some blood this time._

"- pussy, i coulda gone with her, and -"

_it burns now. it hurts to breathe._

"- _made it big_, too. sure could do with some more money, anyhow."

_what was her name?_ what _was_ her name? you can't remember now. pain clouds your mind as you collapse, falling sideways, more blood dripping from the corner of your mouth. you look like roadkill, all flattened out, life pooling on the ground. you wish you were roadkill. you wish you were a dumb fucking animal that didn't have to know all the things it was leaving behind after it died. you wish you were dead.

"you don't want to drink that shit. it's twice as fucked up as the other kinds."

choking. you're still choking. it's all blood. you don't know where you're bleeding from, but wherever it is, it's got plenty of blood to spare. you just keep choking, and coughing, and retching, and bleeding. you're a fucking mess. someday, someone's going to find your body, and be horrified at what they see.

it's twice as fucked up.

the pain dulls as you fade out of consciousness, the shadows at the edge of your vision pulling you in. bright, blurry visions irritate your eyes, and you cover them with a groan, hiding from the light. you're dragging against the ground, you're hoisted up into the air, you're undressed and hosed down and dropped off in bed. you don't understand anything. it's meaningless.

you have to wake up in a few hours anyway. might as well rest while you can.


End file.
